works in progress

Still not finding the time I want to. Wondering what or how things need to change. I'm passing up blog posts and putting off projects. Doesn't quite feel like my life, or at least not my life as I like it. Feeling stuck in a holding pattern. No bueno! Bu hao!

But the sky is so pretty today. And Johnnie is sick so we're having a Twin Peaks marathon. S'not all bad. Not even close.

long overdue

I was working on these around the same time I finished up the last five I posted in January, I just haven't managed to post them until now. My life is a little unsettled at the moment, things are stopping and starting then stopping and starting again. It's been hard to find much of a routine, let alone a rhythm that feeds creativity. I haven't been completely unproductive though, I just started working on a new surface and am excited to share my experiment. I'll get a few posted as soon as I can finish them up.

As for these four, the first is in my usual size range at about 5"x7" but the last three are about twice that size. It's been fun working a little bit bigger and I think I'll keep at it. I started the second image with the girl on the mountain top a long, long time ago... I think about a year ago now! Finally calling her finished. The last image felt done but now that I see it again after a bit, I think it's awaiting a few final touches.

And now I'm off to my first (and much needed) acupuncture in quite some time. Hallelujah!

indecision

This young woman is so beautiful. She started out months ago stuck in my journal but I quickly realized it'd be a crime to keep her hidden between pages, so I peeled her up and set out to make her a new home. She suffered a little damage but remains intact, yet lately I find myself dissatisfied with her current environment (I don't think it does her beauty justice) and am considering peeling her up again.

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My ability to make confident decisions feels like it has been all but lost lately. Purgatory... limbo... that is my current realm! I'm putting things off, waiting until the absolute last second to make up my mind, or regretting my actions soon after. I got pretty down on myself thinking I was making a string of bad decisions, but then wondered: "Is this one of those times when all my choices feel shitty simply because the outcomes I have to choose from are considerably less favorable than I want them to be? Is it just a challenging time?" Yes. It is. I've got a heartbreak-unemployment-seasonal depression trifecta happening!

It was actually a rather comforting realization and has allowed me more realistic expectations. I have limits and one good choice won't magic me out of this particular struggle. I just gotta endure. There's no clear and sunny path to choose because... there just isn't. It's all wet and muddy brambles for now. The choices are tough because my situation is tough, and the only thing that's gonna tenderize that toughness is time.


**After having hashed this out with myself I think maybe she should stay where she is. She's a nice little metaphor, a sort of microcosm in my macrocosm, and a reminder of what can be learned during challenging times.

new arts!

Elliot and I are planning a little collaboration! I will make a few pieces of art that he will use as inspiration for some writing or poetry, meanwhile he'll be writing a few pieces that I'll then use as inspiration for art. We're in no rush so don't get too excited just yet, he's busy on the epic task of recording his second album (woot!) and I, well... I've got plenty of free time at the moment. We're thinking final pairings will be presented in a zine or two. Here's what I've finished up lately:

gournal share

I'm fascinated by the way my brain communicates with me through dreams. Often I'll have very elaborate dreams with complex and multi-layered story lines, many characters, and time lines that seem non-linear at best. Despite contents that are confusing and terribly difficult to articulate or accurately depict when brought into the waking world, I understand the emotional aspects of these dreams absolutely and completely non-verbally. I can literally feel the meaning of what's happening but without using any words what-so-ever. Lately, instead of getting mired in the details when recounting dreams I try to describe the action to myself in the most general and arguably obvious way, the results are usually no more than a sentence or two and they tend to hold profound meaning and relevance to either my current state or a situation I've been pondering. 

Cool!

{I'd like to apologize for my scanner. Apparently it prefers to totally disregard some colors while making others unbearably loud. Sorry, periwinkle blue.}

winter

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I went to the park today for to soothe* my soul, it was the first I've been in quite a long time. It had also been a while since I'd taken my Polaroid out. There was thick cloud cover and the light was dim, but things felt good. I'm glad we are past the winter solstice. I'm glad we are done with the time of year that is for endings. We're sitting now in the season that is the peace and quiet of things already dead, we're done with the agony and loss of dying. Now we can sit and enjoy the stillness. Soon we'll be thinking of how new things might begin.

*At first I mistakenly spelled this word "sooth" - a not so erroneous error, as I did go to find truth.

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crystal portraits finished!

clockwise from top >> tibetan clear quartz : tangerine quartz : amethyst

I just finished up my crystal portraits this morning! The black outlines on the tangerine quartz prints are drying as I type.

After a few failed attempts at realigning the old Tibetan quartz linos I scrapped them and started over. (So much better!) The newly carved blocks were much easier to register. It's very subtle, but I snuck a little yellow into the white ink along the bottom half of those guys and love the way it turned out.

Today would be a good day to take them out for listing photos as it's sunny and fairly dry, but as I said before, the black on the tangerine quartz is still very fresh and I don't want it to get all smudged and ruined. Dang. I really wanna get that part done. I'm definitely going to sell them as a set on Etsy, but can't decide if I should also offer them individually as they're quite small.