Rattlesnake Ridge

Shi Shi Beach

Mazama // Methow Valley

grief + impotence

I feel great despair over having been born into the time in which I live, though I know I have no power to change it and must find a way to cope with my temporal circumstances. It seems that humanity is approaching a great turning point - we are quickly exhausting our resources and it is no longer a part of our culture to honor, respect and revere the source of those resources and our only home. The consequences are steadily mounting and yet we do so little in response to the clear danger we put ourselves in. We have so much faith in human innovation - we think it can save us from ourselves - how can we be so arrogant? How can it be so hard to see that we are a part of - and depend on - something so much greater than ourselves? Why can't humanity see itself in context anymore? Many individuals can, what keeps the whole from knowing the same? We used to know it. I fear that during my lifetime I will only see the degradation as we approach the edge. If we can make choices that lead us toward a more respectful and sustainable future I will be relieved and grateful, though I will mourn for I fear such change will not come in my lifetime, or only near the very end - and I dare not bring any children into this world for our growing numbers are our downfall. I am filled equally with such feelings of grief and impotence that my heart breaks.

IN PROGRESS...

I've been working on this big crocodile drawing and I'm really happy with how it's turning out. I just hope I can keep up the good work through the painting stage and do the drawing justice!

lessons

A few weeks ago I signed up, very spur of the moment (the night before!), for an online class - "Making Your Mark" through Pikaland's Artist Bootcamp. I'm certainly not the student I used to be, but I think I'm learning some valuable lessons from being a not so great student. Mainly, I'm learning to be ok with being not-so-great. (Or at least I'm trying!) The accomplishments and praise that go along with being a good student, the reassuring little ego strokes, are things I think my ego needs to live with out for a bit. It's good to carry on without the reassurance of success and to wrestle with a bad attitude until it can be improved.

My pieces above were from our second assignment, inspired by a list of what we know and love. I dissected my usual mixed media approach and worked with each on its own. It felt weird but was a really good exercise for me, it showed me how I often use one medium to compensate for another. Instead of working through difficulties with drawing, I'll use collage to avoid the challenge entirely. Not so much learning or growth gets done on the path of least resistance. In the process of circumventing weakness I end up bypassing unknown or unrealized strengths and abilities as well.